Pictures of You, Pictures of Me

(George Tooker, Self-Portrait, 1947; unknown MySpace picture)

As embarrassing as it is to admit, I used to take a lot of self-pics. As soon as I got my hands on my first digital camera (circa 1999 - cost $150 and was 1.5 megapixels), I was snapping pictures of myself on a weekly basis.

A lot of my self-pics can be chalked up to body image issues that come tucked inside your first box of Tampax Slenders. Only instead of stuffing my bra in front of my mirror, asking "Are You There God? It's Me Margaret," or furiously stabbing my autograph hound, I could put on a shitload of make-up and post to my LiveJournal! "Got a new dress," I'd coyly write. Yeah right, bitch - these are clearly the product of two hours worth of careful staging.

The other night, prior to applying my acne cream (still young after all these years!), I was thinking about how I haven't taken a self-pic - a serious self-pic - in a while. Maybe it's because I don't think I am as cute as I did when I was 16, but hey! some of the best pictures I have of myself, I took my.self. No one knows your face better than you, right?

(Cindy Sherman - queen of "don't call them self-portraits because they're not actually me" self-portraits)

Then I was thinking how cool it would be if self-portraits could be a Spinecracker project. So here's your mission, if you choose to accept: take some legitimate self pics. No PhotoBooth, no camera in the mirror or over your head, just good self pics. Pretend you met someone FINE in your favorite AOL chat room, and you're adding an attachment. Or, just take a cool picture.

instant play recommendations

who knew i'd join the ranks of netflix whores? the instant option is weakening our ADD-addled society!! softening my brain! worsening my loss of long-term memory! and yet, it's exposed me to precious films i'd never have found otherwise. plus, it's nice to have something on while i'm sewing. so as per ashley's request a few posts ago, here is my list of favorite instant downloads, in no particular order:

I. slaves of new york
precious bernadette peters plays an artist's girlfriend trying to find her niche in the new york art scene. her outfits are amazing, her asshole boyfriend is really hot, and there's a steve buscemi cameo.** correction, this for some reason is no longer on instant play, but i still recommend watching it. sorry guys...
II. the eyes without a face
if any of you like B-movie horrors, this french film is a beautifully made one, about a young girl whose face has been mangled in a car wreck. the shots are eery, the fashion fun to look at. i don't want to give away the story, but if ya'll recall the framed photo of the bandaged girl on my tv shelf, the still is taken from this movie...III. daddy long legs
i have a thing for fred astaire. he's so graceful, and classy, and a little cheeky too. my heart throbs when he taps his toes. add the dazzling frenchie leslie caron (who is a classically trained ballerina as well), awesome set design, dance sequences and costumes, well just stick a fork in me cause i'm done.IV. radiant child
documentary about the artist jean-michel basquiat. a talented young artist in new york, who literally went from homelessness to dating madonna and acting as warhol's bestie... after watching this i was very inspired to draw and paint, then angry because i cannot do either of those things... but still. watch it!V. last tango in paris
a 70s marlon brando flick. follows the intense, almost brutal?, sexual relationship between a young lady and marlon, in paris. i'm a brando fan, to begin with (on the waterfront?!?! i die), and this semen-ted it for me. heheVI.ladies and gentlemen, the fabulous stains
long before diane lane mellowed out in middle age to make 'under the tuscan sun,' she made this killer teen movie as the front girl for a punk band, the stains. aside from the the girl-band inspiration, outfits are noteworthy, as are makeup tips, her fuck-it 'tude, and her man♥♥♥VII. play it again, sam
a woody allen film, what list is complete without one? am i right? the acting is particularly silly, diane keaton's outfits are quirky (this was pre-annie hall), and it was filmed HERE IN THE BAY AREA!! all over san francisco, a few spots in the north bay too. this is my favorite WA film, fo' realzies.VIII. the thing called love
one those almost-too-cheesy to watch girl trying to make big it movies. ALMOST. i loved it for many reasonz: sweet sandra bullock, miranda's very 90's outfits, it was filmed in my 2nd favorite city: nashville, and riverrrrrr phoeeeenixxx. listen for miranda's song about big blonde country hair...IX.phoebe in wonderland
elle fanning is adorable, and far easier to watch than dakota, in my personal opinion. a sweet story about childhood, coping mechanisms, and alice in wonderland. with a stellar cast: felity huffman (in a wig? still not sure), patricia clarkson in heidi braids :) and bill pullman, with familiar classy comb-back.X. fritz the cat
the title should be "being paul goins." an animation based on an R. crumb comic, this kitty has lots of sex, tries lots of drugs, and talks about the revolution, while making friends with all sorts of other animals...

Vaudeville or brothel? You decide!

I just realized I never shared this picture, when the whole reason I took it was to share it!

Anyway, last time I was in Chicago, I was rifling through a box of family photos when I came across this:

(Sorry for the cruddy quality - it is indeed a picture of a picture)

ANYWAY, I ripped it out of the box and waved it around. "WHO ARE THESE LADIES???" I demanded to know. Apparently the lady in the stripes on the far left is my great grandma Milton (!!!) with her "vaudeville troupe". Apparently the Miltons were vaudevillians by trade, but something about this photo (thigh highs? lollipops?) makes me think these ladies are selling more than song-and-dance routines.

Regardless of the dubious origins, I love this picture and my great grams stripey one piece.

I want to "come on down" for my birthday!

I know this post is a little premature, but I really want to go to the Price is Right this year for my bday! The day I would like to go is Monday, June 20th. If you get 15 or more people you are guaranteed a seat inside, so no camping overnight is necessary! I hope you all will accompany me on this gaming adventure. Also, please submit shirt/outfit ideas :) I'll make an event at a later date through facebook, but I am just pumped and wanted to share my excitedness with you all!

"youth is wasted on the youth"

I guess you could say life is an adventure, but I disagree when I'm surrounding myself with food and laying in bed at 2pm to watch a movie I've seen 789 times. In my daydreams, I'm packing up Cameron, quitting our jobs and setting sail on the open road with no destination in sight. Yes, this is my 30th birthday year in case I haven't complained enough about it. And to be perfectly honest, I'm kinda freakin. My uneasiness lies in time....it's flyin the fuck past me and I can't live in the moment. I'm constantly looking towards the future and what it will be like and the things I need to do to prepare for it and yadayadayada, well this is my god damn future right now that I seem to be so preoccupied with.
I need to take a break from my uptight, annoyingly practical, guilt ridden, moody demeanor and throw all of my neuroses out the literal, yet figurative, window to see the person I can be without those things. Whether or not this changes me, I'll know that at least I tried and explored and let go and that has to mean something, to me that is. I want to force myself to tough it out in the middle of nowhere. I get paranoid and whiny and all I can think about is the luxuries of taking a bath and eating a snickers from a mini bar. I've never even been camping and I'd like to blame my parents for this, but I have too many fun memories in hotel rooms to be troubled by it. and ya know what? on a side note, blaming your parents for your problems is for suckers. Your parents are just people too and it's not my mom's fault that I never tasted a pear for the first 25 years of my life. She never liked pears, so she never had them in the house, big whoop. I'm an adult now and I can eat a pear whenever I feel like it (which is never because I tasted one and blaaaaahg they're gross). Point being, I just need to learn what my 30s are going to be all about and not live them like I'm in my 20s.

Things I need for a road trip that would make me feel enlightened:
1. Cameron. Honestly, I'd like to see what we're both capable of.
2. bali shag (I'm thinking about investing in a pipe)
3. Oscar Wilde books. I've been diggin the shit outta him lately. I always knew I would like him once I got around to reading his stuff, but I had no idea how we'd actually fall deeply in love
4. illuminating road trip music that makes me feel smart, like Joanna Newsom, Edith Piaf, or Hank Williams Sr.
5. cameras of all sorts. polaroid cameras, film cameras, digital cameras, toy cameras, video cameras
6. my ukulele and a harmonica for Cameron. possible scenario: sitting by a riverbed playing some Leadbelly
7. one of those beautiful handkerchiefs that women used to tie around their hair/head to ride in a convertible (this should be #1 on my list)

I think I'm in-between stages right now.
"The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything." -Oscar Wilde

Thoughts on turning 30? Road trips? Music that makes you feel smart?

tiny maids a milkin

I know this is an awkward 2005 style photo booth picture, but I just wanted to show my new favorite hair style for the last 20 mins. Since it's dark in my apartment, I had to stare lovingly into my own eyes while tilting towards to the window to be able to catch a glimpse. I flippin love milkmaid braids, but seriously my hair is too heavy to hold it up all day long (see my burden I have to carry Sarah!). SO I made some little milkmaid braids underneath my hair for a little headband of braids. This may be old news, BUT IT'S NEW TO ME! Is it cute enough to wear my hair down to work and risk lice? I think so! Plus I'm hoping it won't look so bad in a low pony with the braids. But anEway, that's my new news. You guys got any new news? Like some instant netflix movie suggestions? Or a new product you tried from Trader Joe's? I'm always look for a head's up on those.

tea bagging

Hello Dawlings.....
If you know me at all, you know it is few and far between that I drink tea, coffee, hot chocolate, blah blah and blah, basically anything other than water and my morning juice. BUT I would like to share the only tea that I will put my pursed bitchy lips to and actually enjoy it. I first discovered it a couple years ago through my Aunt who found it at Bristol Farms. We have almost the exact same taste in food, so I trust her opinion like no other. Then like so many things in my life, just as I started to like it, it became impossible to find at any stores anywhere, like nowhere, nothing, gone. One of the last few times I was back home, my Aunt shared the secret of the internet with me. You can find this bomb ass tea on Amazon! I was given a box to drink at my leisure. Being the sweet girlfriend that I am, I told Cameron he should try it. He liked it a little too much, and being the sneaky girlfriend that I am, I had to hide it from him. I've since taken it out of hiding. He knows now I'm savoring it and he must only drink it if he's fiending for it, until I surrender to the man and spend money. If you're as finicky as me, you might enjoy it. Or you might just think it tastes like god damn regular ass tea.

http://www.amazon.com/ST-DALFOUR-Breakfast-1-75-Ounce-25-Count/dp/B000LKUA7M/ref=reg_hu-rd_add_1_dp_T2

P.S.
This is Gwen when she was 30. Do you think we would've been friends with her?