Wednesday, December 8, 2010


New Years Attempts for 2011!
I'm not much into resolutions, but I AM into trying to make myself a better person as best I know how. SO I MADE A LIST!

1. Accept the grey areas. I'm an extremist that physically can't wrap my brain around a grey area (think of bacon wrapped dates). It's all or nothing, balls to all the walls, black or white, do or die, etc., etc.. (hence my catch phrase, "fuck it").

2. Would you like some pasta with your cheese? I'm going to try, just TRY, to eat less cheese. This food makes me so physically, emotionally, longitudinally, latitudinally happy/high while I'm eating it, that I could never give it up. I just know it's contributing heavily (literally) to my chubbiness over the years. So instead of half a brick of cream cheese on my bagel, it'll be a quarter. Instead of 30 tbls of parmesan on my pasta, it'll be 15. It's a start!

3. Make learning more of a process. I solely blame the internet for not retaining anything I learn from it. I really don't spend a lot of time surfing the net, but it's definitely awoken from it's r.e.m. sleep to tell me the names of the three chipettes. Real dictionary vs. online dictionary is a good place to start for me.

4. Subduing my baditude/sass mouth/red hot temper: We've all got one in there somewhere, mine just happens to reside in my frontal cortex controlling all of the my thoughts and actions. Sometimes it comes in handy, some (most) times it gets me in trouble. I can't even tell you how many things I've secretly smashed, openly broken, or just plain smacked up until the age of 20. I've turned my temper into nervous laughing which has been a pretty cool alternative I guess. Thus began my 20s of crass/rude/blunt commentary which would result in me thinking, "shit why did I just say that!" It's not to hurt anyone's feelings, it's stating my loudmouth opinion. The last year or so, I've been noticing that I'll say my usual shit but not feel my usual tinge of regret. Which is GOOD, but I just need to be more polite BEFORE opening my mouth. If only I could learn how to phrase things nicely. But just because I don't regret it, doesn't mean that it's right, right guys?

5. NO LIFE STANDARDS 2011!!!: For example: Do I want kids? Do I want kids because I feel like I should? Do I NOT want kids because that will make me apart of the elite mommy's club where mommy's can look down on what an easy life women without kids have? What do EYE want?!?! I may have never had a childhood dream about my wedding dress, but I've definitely always wanted kids. I just need to remember what I genuinely want, for realz!

Things I like to do, but could do more often for 2011's sake:

* wearing colors other than grey, black, light black, dark grey, greyish black (I love this, I just don't need to exclude every other color from my wardrobe)
* makeup/hair care/general grooming - I can't make any promises, but I'll try because it can be FUN
* keeping my house cleaner due to surprise guests
* write my dear Katherine more letters
* call my mother, father, grandmother, and aunt more often. Basically everyone in my family except Annie (since I talk to her like every freakin second of the day. am I saying it like it's a bad thing? I can't tell.)
* embracing my Italian culture to an even more annoying extent by learning how to cook every Italian meal I can muster.
* seeking out new music that isn't a one hit wonder, or some indie crap that I think I should like, but don't.

What are YOUR reconsidermentfactors for 2011??????


  1. love this posttt and appreciate you spilling it for the rest of us. I'll hit you back w/my list.

    1. I often admire the little temper you do show because I feel like I don't get mad enough. I find myself getting really pissed a year after something and think, why didn't I react in that moment?? I also admire that you're working on bettering yourself.

    2. I am a huge fan of your Italian cooking. I fully support more Italian and more Italian cooking!!!

    3. I think you'd be a great cool mom if you so choose :)


  2. This was a good read and the part about, and i quote, "the elite mommy's club where mommy's can look down on what an easy life women without kids have" stood out for me. I know you probably don't want to hear it, but i'm gonna say something anyway. As a member of the mom club I must tell you that I personally do NOT look down on what an easy life people without kids have. It's more like I have this new perspective and wish I hadn't taken for granted the time I had without kids. And then I wish people without kids would have this perspective, but it might take having kids to get it! What are you gonna do!?

    Anywhey, my reconsiderments would include:

    1. smile more in public and not take my frustrations out on the checkout girl at safeway.

    2. stop being frustrated because things could definitely be worse.

    3. say what i mean and mean what i say!

    4. sew anything

    5. crochet a blanket

    6. paint

    that's enough for now!

  3. oh and IAWTC's that megan left

  4. I forget that you're a mom when I say those things. It's just my feeeeelings on the matter. I hear a lot of "oh you don't even know..." or "just wait until you're a mother" like you can't know what a problem is until you've had a kid. But I haven't heard that from you so you don't count! And neither does Julian! When I say those things it's about people I don't like, so you.....are....the only exception ( this song comes in handy all the time!)

  5. Reconsiderment Factors: 2011
    (in no particular order)

    1. Devote time to understanding and being active in politics. The "it's not cool to care" mantra of my 90's experience wore off some time ago. As frustrating and angering as the whole kit n caboodle is, I'm ready to face it and comprehend it better so I can feel more in control of my own situation. I'm done letting people make decisions for me and embarrassed that I let that go on for so long.

    2. Devote time to understanding and retaining current events.

    3. Read more. I know you all probably think I'm a non-reader, but I actually love to read. I feel a little self-conscious and defensive re: reading as I comment on our book club-centered blog after not finishing the last 4 books ;( but I'm yearnin for the time when I will have quiet time to read. I'm a sensitive creature and everything has to be just right. haha.

    4. Pay less attention to celebrities & entertainment. I feel like the last 3.75 years have been a huge helping of fun and excitement and I've grown in that, found my glitz, took life and myself less seriously, got silly, etc. However, I don't balance well and I tend to do one thing over and over until I'm sick of it. Anyway, as much as I love looking at ONTD first thing Saturday mornings, it can be somewhat of a distraction for me in my own personal growth. It's hard to rationalize devoting attention to people that make so much money for doing what I imagine to be some of the easiest and funnest work available (actors, pop stars, sports people) when educators, laborers and various other people who contribute positively to society make very little. Also, let's re-visit an item off my fuckit list: I'm devoted to not being a time-fighter and time-fighting is most of what I see in celebrities. I do think that seeing so many images of ladies who don't have wrinkles or real bodies is subconsciously damaging to me and my expectations of myself.

    5. Enjoy as much as I can! I've got a lot going for me and as much as the small amount of shit that I do have really gets me down I'm constantly trying to remember that giving attention to it makes me unhappy when the majority of what I've got going on makes me happier than I ever thought possible.

    6. Inherit some of Tianna's directness. I over think and stew when I should just say it and move on. This is a lifetime Reconsiderment Factor I'm working on, people.

    7. Sing more/learn an instrument. I gotta thank you ladies for allowing me to explore this area. When I sing with you it feels similar to the therapeutic feeling I get when driving.

    8. Eat better and take care of my body. I ran one block up a hill the other day and it took me 20 minutes to recover :( I miss feeling my muscles working.

    9. Take care of business. When I get overwhelmed by stuff I tend to ignore everything I have to do, which is bad. I want to change it.

    That all sounds like a bummer hah. I don't plan on turning into a super-serious no-funner. I want to build on what I've already got. More dinner with a little less dessert is all I'm saying.

    If you read all that, thanks. It's nice to have a place to spell it all out. I can't help it!


  6. Wow, Megan, I wish you all the best in the new year! That's a gettin' down to business list and I should also do all of those things. In regards to item 4, I'm thinking of only looking at because they mix current events in's a start. The magazine is kinda a best of both worlds as well.

  7. I want to be notified when someone comments on this blog!!!! is that even possible?
    Tianna---> I've always thought of you as a super nice chill person who just gets mad/frustrated/annoyed to be funny. and it's actually really endearing to watch, like a dog wearing clothes! I guess you've been seriously frustrated all those times and I never knew! Sorry :( Just know I'll always be there if you need a punching bag to lash out on and then apologize later to

    Megan--->I didn't know you before you were (supposedly) not fun, but I like your gettin down to serious biznist list and it reminds of these old folklore wizards known as Romy and Michelle. You'll be able to totally rule the skewl in business AND pleasure all while wearing cute clothes with fabulous hairdos!

  8. ashley- you're a badass in your temperment, you always stand up for what's true to you and even if you laugh nervously, i really appreciate the honesty. we can't all agree on everything all the time! it's called killing with kindness.
    i can help you with your wardrobe colorfication if you want ;)

    tianna- i love you, you wear your heart on your sleeve, and make everyone around you feel loved too. plus, i'll help you sew anytime, and you're a damn fine artist i hope you get back into it (remember our drawing date with amy?)

    megan- i know what you mean about current events. i try to make an effort to look over sfgate and cnn first, but is always calling...
    you're quite a driven lady, who surprises me with how much she's juggling.

    i'd spill my reconsiderments, but being a black belt in blabbing, i feel it'd be regurgitating the same ol' stuff. mainly "fuck it" and "say yes to everything, you'll be glad you did." not having a job and trying to get into this weird on-set seamstress realm is teaching me a lot, pushing me to sell myself in a way i've never done (i'm wearing protection, don't worry). so i'm in a transitional phase. i'll report more when the transition feels more complete.

  9. Lovin' it, lovin' your lists, and lovin' you (it's easy 'cause you're beautiful). I think you're all great as is, but hey, there's always room for self-improvement, I suppose, just as there was always room for Home Improvement in America's TV Heart (until 1999). And I like that all your ideas seem to have good intentions, a nice change from the usual thinly-veiled self-loathing usually found on resolution lists (e.g. "Lose weight because I am SO FATTTT!!!!).

    Anyway, 2010 was such a shitstorm that it's hard to imagine being together enough to improve. That said, I do have some life cracks that need patching (no "caulk" jokes necessary).

    1. Get back on track - A LOT of things went neglected last year financially, personally, physically, psychically, whatever. Definitely a goal to feel on top of shit again.

    2. Recognize birthdays in a meaningful way - this is shameful - SHAMEFUL - to admit in public, but would you believe that this year I didn't send a birthday card to my mom, my sister, or two of my best friends?! See item 1. A Facebook wall post is not the way to show you care.

    3. Save money, spend responsibly - open a savings account and actually put money in it. Try not to blow an extra money on BS. That said...

    4. Treat myself to a vacation - I really appreciate the way my mom lives because she lives pretty frugally, but then goes to New York for the opera or Hawaii for Christmas. She spends money on experiences instead of things, and I think it's a good way to be.

    5. Be more of a yes (wo)man - self-explanatory!

    6. Eat more fresh fruit and vegetables - I'm already neurotic about this, but I really feel my best when I'm full of broccoli.

    7. Spend less time on the internet - the reason this took me so long to post is because I wrote version 1 of this list and then it got deleted (blergh!). I waste way too much time reading about total BS. I can always find more fulfilling uses of my time offline than on, but it sucks me in! Break away! Break away!

    I love you all and can't wait to spend NYE with you!!

  10. Tate, I agree with your mom's way of life SFM haha. That's a life goal for me as well. I like all your goals and I know that you will be on top of all of them.

    I love you guys. Can't wait to be locked in close quarters with ya.