Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Fuck-it list

A few days back, I got wind of this post wherein the blogess puts forth a modest proposal: the fuck-it list. We all know the basic premise of the bucket list; Megan even made a San Francisco bucket list post a few months back. The fuck-it list is the antithesis of the bucket list in its purest form: 5 things you know you DON'T want to do, ever, if your life. Particularly, things that seem important to other folks that you could care less about.

I've been chewing on this subject for a few days and here's what I've come up with:

1. Buying a new car - Every time I hear about someone buying a new car, my inner cheapass screams in horror. I think of taking $5000 and setting it on fire. I don't get it!

2. Having a big rack - Once I realized that my boobs were never, ever going to grow any more (even after a baby!), I figured it was time to make peace or find a good surgeon. And guess what, everyone? I'm almost to my goal of $5000! JK BFF.

3. Being rich - While my constant whining about how perpetually broke I am rightly suggests that I would like to be better off financially, I have zero desire to be filthy, stinkin' rich. It's overly romantic and problematic to go on about how "being poor adds character," but I do think it puts shit into perspective; a perspective where you realize you don't need a mansion because you don't want the hassle of buying all that furniture.

4. Getting lawfully wed - I picked this picture because I love a good wedding, and do think they can (and should!) be very beautiful. I just don't see myself ever getting married. Thankfully for me, the only thing about this fact that bums me out is missing out on getting nice cookware and towels.

And finally...
5. More kids - This one hurts a little. I always imagined that I'd have 2 kids, 2 years apart like my sister and I. I love kids. I love babies. I loved being pregnant. And I love being a mom. But I also love having free time. I love a social life. I love that Hanna's on autopilot now and can't imagine starting over with another one.

Your turn!


  1. I'll never post this if I wait to come up with 5...so here are 3! This was difficult!
    1.financing anything-
    if i can't save up for it, i'm not buyin it.

    i can't for SURE say it's on the fuckit list, but every time I consider it I feel my freedom slipping away. I'd love kids if I could have a parallel life.:( p.s. can I be all your kidz' Aunt?

    3.botox/turning into a time-fighter-
    I do not want to get hung up on the way time ages me. I want to like myself rather than stick shit in my face. woohoo! Easy to say at 31, right guys!?!?!

  2. I'm super into this, but I haven't had the time to really feel out all of my fuck it options. But I love yer guyzz! I'll get back to you...

  3. Megan! GOOD call on the timefighter one! I'm so excited to be a distinguished older lady.

  4. I'm so excited too! Really, truly excited.

  5. Ok I have a moment in time to do this....
    1. Recycling - They lost me after aluminum cans and glass bottles. I can't figure it out, so I don't do it! Like ever! and I'm okay with it!

    2. being able to open wine/champagne bottles - I've always considered that an "adult" thing to do. I've tried it a few times. I don't like it. It doesn't satisfy me....NEXT

    3. contact lenses - every man, woman, and child was telling me i should get contacts when I hit around 8th grade (which in turn made me want to do the opposite) I've dabbled with the idea of contacts, but it just ain't for me or my sore eyes. The day they make contact lenses that fit all of my neurosis, then I may give them a shot, but for now FUCKIT

    4. quiting smoking - this is a recent fuckit. as much as I've tried to fight it, i love a good smoke out my window at the end of the night. SInce I've been rolling my own, I don't feel as bad, or smoke as much. On most days, I smoke one little cigarette out my window at the end of the day whilst complaining about my day to Cameron or talking on the phone to my sis or rockin out to sweet tunes (I smoke more if I'm in a social situation trying to compensate for conversating). I've been beating myself up about it for years, but now I've come to fully accept this little ritual. I'll quit when I god damn feel like it.

  6. Ashley:
    A. I like you and your glasses
    B. I like that you like smoking and I appreciate you rollin your own. I like when my friends enjoy themselves.

    IAWTC re: #2

  7. 1. beer...i will not drink it in a box i will not drink it with a fox fuck it
    2. having good legs...i've battled a skin condition since i was 14 and i'm done fighting. my legs are scarred and itchy and i hate it, but fuck em for being like that
    3. being intellectual/political...i like simple and silly conversation. i want equality and fairness for all, but i'm comfortable saying it ain't ever gonna happen the way it really should, so fuck it i don't vote
    4. brushing my teeth twice a day...just can't do it! fuuuuuuck it
    5. saying yes all the time...i'm done done done done done for fuck's sake!!

    things on my bucket list though...
    get an associate's degree
    open a cool bakery hang out place
    be an involved restaurant manager
    own an apartment at least
    adopt kids

    above comments are only valid at time of typing. void where prohibited.

  8. p.s. i love your posts my friends! i want you all to have a bunch a kids...that's all i'm gonna say!

  9. hahahhahahha once again Tianna, you have made me LOL

  10. my favorite is #4

  11. I LOVE THIS! You guys are the best!

    My fuck-its:
    1) Being a jaded hardass.

    This one is hard because certain people in my life have made me a wee bit cynical, and the last one to break my heart left me thinking "THAT is what you get for giving people the benefit of the doubt. Once a douche, always a douche." But you know what? To quote Elliott Smith, "But it's your heart, not mine that's scarred."I hope I never give up loving people with the benefit of the doubt, people are loveable until proven otherwise in my heart.

    2) Buying a pet.
    NEVER, EVER, EVER will I buy a dog or a cat. My first two children, Jacques and Lola have made me endlessly happy, and I love their history..even if it makes them a little "scary" or whatever. There's a great dog tag you can buy for your cat/dog that says "I rescued a human." and that is exactly how I feel about my babes. They saved me. (Pearl was a puppy mill puppy, but she was sick and the runt of the litter so I can see why big ol' softy ronnie bought her.)

    3)Do hard drugs.
    Hard drugs scare the shit outta me. I've also seen them nearly destroy a really beautiful human being. So all the more reason to say FUCK IT!

    4) Apologize for who I am.
    I like silly shit! I like lady gaga and britney, I like to paint my nails obsessively, I want to have sex with giovanni ribisi. This is all kind of odd, but I'm not going to hide it, or apologize. Love it or leave it y'all.